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6:45AM and Something Was Beeping

Date: March 15, 2018

6:45 I woke up and something was beeping

Beep.

Thomas was checking that I was still alive - he will eat me if I don't convince him I am. Petting is required.
Alarm? WTF? I never set an alarm. I am “retired” (do NOT laugh!) But I do sleep near a bunch of electronics.

Beep.

Nada. I flailed around while still in bed. My eyes cannot see much until I put the TV/reading/computer glasses on. They see less all the time.

I pat the equipment near me. TV. Direct TV cable box. Alarm clock so I can tell when Thomas wakes me up. Claw hammer. Baby Eagle. Bullets for the Baby Eagle. The hammer is if I have no time to actually load the Baby Eagle.
I have hammers and baseball bats and a sword and various other things all over the house. None of these things beep.

Beep.

It is not the ADT armed alarm - it has an 80 decibel horn right down the hall. Thank God this is not 80 decibels.

Beep.

Gotta be the old alarm clock…..I fight to read those tiny little labels…is it turned on by accident?

Beep.

Nope - the alarm is NOT set. I rip it out of the power strip. Put it into a wall socket. I am now out from under my covers. I discover that Thomas sits at this window too because there is a ton of long cat hair floating around.
I dampen a tissue and attack it. I am now - really UP. I sip G2. Need a new bottle.

Beep.

Nada.
I feel like a cat chasing a red dot laser.
OK. Last I heard sex toys and Baby Eagles do NOT beep. I check them out anyway. Maybe something else in the drawer... The sound is coming from something in a CORNER which means a certain amount of bounce.

Beep.

Can. Not. Find it.

I think ADT - nope. I think battery run something? OK---WHAT? ADT CO2 monitor outside the door.

Beep.

So the aging Direct TV box comes to mind. I kill the TV and the Cable box. I remove its card and I hit reset. I let this thing reboot. (Think watching paint dry.) If it is the cable box - I will shut down cable. Debating about it anyway.

Beep.

The cable box is back and it is now 7:19 which I know because I had to reset the alarm clock. Again. It is innocent - - after I unplugged and even checked that there was no battery in it - it is not beeping. I put the clock and my purse on the bed when I checked it for batteries.

Beep.

One more time - clock back on a shelf (a shelf covered in dust - time to vac and dust bedroom) and a few other things.

Beep.

Aha. It is no longer in the corner. It is coming from my bed. I am standing at the foot of the bed, frazzled, and I am pulling out the cell phone and—

Beep.

It is 7:30.
Thomas is hiding.
I am tired.
I need my coffee.
Phone in hand. Looks like the battery is dead.

Beep.

My hand vibrates.
Cell phone needs a charge.
All those spam text messages I never read have worn down my cell phone battery.
Bastards.

Beep.

I NEVER DO TEXT.
IF I GET A SMART PHONE I WILL STILL NOT TEXT.
DO NOT TEXT ME. EVER.

Beep.

First - I would need my reading glasses to read it. And that could mean I have to FIND the reading glasses.
Second - I have severe arthritis in my hands and my thumb joints left the building 25 years ago.

Beep.

I loose the hounds and we troop downstairs to dark, wind, remnants of rain. And a cold family room.
The dogs are out and must have treats on the cement because it rained last night. God forbid their feet get damp!

Beep.

I find clothing. Get dressed. Plug in the cell phone to charge.

And I discover Suky outside eating dog poop. Grace has been caught doing that, too. (Only fresh dog poop — the beagles have their standards)

I go for my 1.5 oz allotment of coffee after bringing in the hounds so they can go back to sleep.
Not wise to pick up dog poop in the rain—has to dry out a bit.

On my to do list. So is the need to clean the cat pans. Dust the bedroom. Vac the throw rugs and I have a meeting Saturday——and then I have to finish my taxes and ship them.

I am up. Even Satan knows I am awake.

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6:45AM and Something Was Beeping

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